Let Me Laugh First, Then I’ll Tell You Why

Let Me Laugh First, Then I’ll Tell You Why

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Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Coz you begged me to sing my favorite song.

You might be wondering, why I should laugh first.

Well, come and be bound on my favorite spell.

This is a story of a one happy family.

A father, a mother with their three angels hailed.

No family photograph seen on their humble wall.

But they are the picture of a perfect joy.

When the third angel set his feet on the ground,

He’d began to walk, to wander, to talk and to ponder.

Cost of living soared, saved coins been spent.

So the father decides to land on a foreign soil.

But distance and longing makes him leave,

The foreign land that promised luck:

Coz he can’t stand the lonely desert night.

And years of missing his angels and lovely wife:

A family, who are starved, tasting salty tears,

Where lucks’ unkind and poverty bites.

The mother tried her luck on the land over sea.

With her, a heart pained and a hoping dream.

Cured by the Malaysian flowers she kissed.

Her hopes soar and her dreams within reach.

But when the angels learned how to long,

For a family, together in bliss and in joy!

They began to asked how does it feel, to have

A mother by the side to tells stories at bed.

Childhood passed these angels without stories being told.

Many toys now left untouched from a mother who missed.

Grandma and grandpa, the parents the third son adored.

She felt her absence from the family she left.

She had no more letters from them to read.

Coz time and distance blocked every hugs and kiss.

So she came back from the land without rest. 

She was met by the angels nearly as a stranger.

The older with a shy hug and a kiss, the second with a glance,

The youngest with a cry, hugging grandma like a leech.

The husband with a smile, a long, distant smile:

So then the mother tried her best to win her angels’ trust.

‘Till all then dropped to its perfect places.

When love returned for a mother and child,

And kisses once again burned for a beloved wife.

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Coz you might be wondering how long will this go.

Coz if by chapters, I had been told yet but the first.

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

The fruit of her hard years, the family lives in maybe wealth.

The angels are fed with golden spoons at mouths.

Living in stoned walls wearing branded clothes;

But to look back many years had been wasted.

Church and picnic days, Christmas and birthdays;

New years and longed childhood days:

And yet the closet still had secrets to unfold.

One of those great days the sun hid, storm had come.

Magic moments of a happy time turned to nightmares.

Coz in a place where gossips are lives and secrets are gold,

This family is to be shattered by a story long been untold.

A man entered dressed in deception, he had a surprise to tell.

A nightmare that makes the older angel yells.

The husband for long he knew but confirmation is death.

The other angels in ignorance and lies they’re fed.

How could a mother let a family be wrecked?

A husband’s tears and children’s wail,

It filled the once happy wall of a once called home.

Is there such wrong made or is there just love died?

Is it because of longing, or simply she’s just tired?

Regrets filled her heart but with love she was forgiven.

Pain outweighed by love, she was greeted with smiles.

The angels again believed for the fairy tales they made.

Never did they know the second one knows things he hides.

The man who chooses lust from morality and sin,

They believed to have been vanished from their stained lives.

But fate laid its cards and showed another lane.

The mother had to play the gamble she need not to pay.

Who knows best but the father who deny?

Coz the angels believed their mother’s countless lies.

Who’s to blame, the mother, the man or the desires?

Or the love long had been found or the love long had been tired?

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Coz you might be confused why I had to live in lies.

Why love can bond yet it can wreck.

Why sin is a choice? Oh! Let me laugh first.

So the father changed by purpose, why can’t it be?

The family’s refuge, the kingdom he once built.

It became the hell, a place of no harmony and no bliss.

He knows nothing but the glass at hand.

It became his blood that it drown him if without.

And his angels drifted, filled from the food he left.

Looked at them smiling before he wept.

The mother not yet at home, the night was late but.

Her table had not been bruised by her cards.

To kill the time, just to be not with her husband.

Never did she know new addiction had been found.

Gamble cards at hands chips are laid.

Money was wasted time burned.

Coz when she had to lay her last ace.

Dawn breaks from the east, new day of no hope.

Dreams visited the angels before their mother’s at home.

Their father waited, and a new story had to begin.

And before the roosters took away their dreams,

A yell of desperation, a fight will wake them up with scream.

Every day’s a routine had made, something never used to be.

To eat together in the same table was now a dream that can’t be seen.

At night the angels sleep together, father at wine.

Their mother’s at cards tomorrow will be a fight.

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

How could a family of love and joy?

Became a family of cards and liquor?

A story maybe not new, but it’s too hard to ignore.

If their family had to be together forever is impossible.

Coz things may change but past had been made.

It’s just too hard for things to let it back to what they’d been.

Because the past molded the present,

And the present had changed the future to bend.

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Lend me your ears and listen to this story of mine.

You had to answer questions I laid with every word.

But if you can’t, then let me laugh first, I’ll tell you why.

So my story goes on for the next chapter of their lives.

One had to leave for together now is a lie.

The mother asked, to whom the angels should fallow.

Is it she or the father who sit in pain and sorrow?

A word not uttered, from every angels mouth.

Coz voice can’t be found strength were lost.

Tears are the answer that’s all they’ve got.

Pain on their children’s eyes broke their hearts.

So again, foreign land made its call.

The mother left with her angels shattered dreams.

Blame’s for the father, to her a new life.

But from the HKian’s floor, change never called.

From the home she left, silence and pain felt.

For a period of time, she’s gone but the secrets remained.

Things of the past found its way to where it once been foretold.

The man who once detested had the mother’s heart to hold.

And as I’ve told, in place where gossips are lives,

And secrets are gold.

Every pain was to be kept by the children adored.

They are to hid and faked smiles and played ignorance.

People thought they were the products of lies.

The father in desperation or maybe his love died.

A decision made, for he thought it’s for the best.

A gossip long been heard by the second child.

A woman had entered his daddy’s life.

In a place where gossips are lives and secrets are gold.

The once perfect family became a memory’s ghost.

With every smiles that met them along the road.

A grin of evil filled their gossip ridden host.

What else but to assume, that everything was alright.

For the older angel who tried to do things right.

But long in a way, she had to give up.

Coz things were just so true to hide and to deny.

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Coz my story, if you had listened the end had long been told.

If you had heard me, things are just so the same.

Clear as my laughter, though I haven’t told you why.

One lucky day, or maybe not;

The first angel found out.

The truth from the gossips, the lies from the truth:

The secrets, the pain, the sorrows and the forbidden,

In a chance, in a one great chance, she blamed life.

She entered the room to found out her daddy’s woman.

Sharing, the bed that once with love was made.

And she met a friend who knows her father by the name.

A name not his, but he was introduced, the friend insist.

She laughed for the friend with a picture he showed.

For her, confirmation is as good as death.

A father with a woman, a mother with a man,

How things became too awful to handle.

Her brothers lived in ignorance she thought.

Never did she know the second knows more.

The father had changed, he was defeated he admitted.

He left the woman without tinge of regret.

He accepted the truth that the wife once adored.

She’s with the sin she took, where she thought she belonged.

He cared his angels; he took responsibilities as a wife.

Accepted what are to be given by the wife,

It’s an insult in disguise.

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

For near, I rest my case and I’ll let you decide.

Whether I’m just telling the truth or building lies.

Don’t look at me; the answer was deceived by my eyes.

Fate really knows this family by the name.

For it found it always to let it be played.

Even at this moment it still has aces to be laid.

The mother uttered tiredness and wanted to give up.

For long she had been feeding them, and she wanted to stop.

But education demands and the angels need more.

Coz it’s time for them to prepare themselves to be alone.

She has no more to give, she’s done she said.

But on luck’s tricks the older angel found a slip.

Slips of remittance, for the man she gives.

Tears fell, but she never question her.

Because pain simply numbs her heart and brain together.

***

Let me laugh first then I’ll tell you why.

Coz things are just too painful to bear.

My story goes on along the way, paragraphs of 20 years.

Don’t measure! Coz many years are yet to come.

Who knows? All troubles will be gone.

If I’m to consider these angels and their lives,

Little had been said, coz they’re mysteries to find.

Who knows them well but I who tell their stories?

Who scribbled their thoughts on paper and ink?

The older angel who had given her best,

When she was young she had tasted rest.

She was spoiled by happy memories and never in vain.

But now she’s affected by guilt, grudges and pain.

The second who smiles, bright and carefree,

He painted his world with dream and fantasy.

He wrote everything that everyone desires.

He bent every truth into believable lies.

But when you look deep into his pieces of art,

Loneliness and pain are all those inside his heart.

The youngest, who lived in ignorance and lies.

He greeted life in his childish smiles.

He believed a happy ending to his every fairy tale.

In a once old story ever told.

A family of love he beholds.

***

Now I’ll tell you but let me laugh first.

Coz I promised that I will when my story ends.

You might be wondering what I might tell.

Well, I have said it to you along the way.

Am I to answer questions you found?

Or am I to tell before I let you ask?

If you want I can read it to you again.

For you to found out what was hidden.

Forgive me for the sin I just now bent.

The trick is that this story has no end.

***

gb!

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