I Wonder Why

I made this poem in memory of “Garcel”, a friend’s sister.

Died: March 15, 2006

I gave this piece to the bereaved family before the funerals. 

“It is only after the death of ones parents that one is free to die.”

-Sigmund Freud

I Wonder Why

March 16, 2006

Nine months I carried you.

A cross weighed on my womb.

I did my best to protect you from harm.

And I warmed you from the freezing cold.

You slept whenever I caress you then.

And sob too, whenever I cried.

Coz God gave us only one breath.

And shared a life I live.

*

I cried in pain when I pushed you out.

To let you know that there is another world to see.

A world where you can be alone,

The world of bliss.

When the cut the string

That connects you from me…

Me from you.

Daughter from this day on…

You are free.

*

I saw you smiled, talked,

Cried and walked.

I saw you laughed, run,

Trembled and fell down.

And I felt too your breath.

Everytime I lead you to bed.

But now years had passed.

My daughter,

A lovely woman you’d become.

You resist my kisses.

Whenever your friends are around.

And suppress your ego,

Whenever I called you child.

But I worried not.

Coz I knew you loved me.

And been proud for whatever I’d been.

*

But I wonder why?

Daughter, my fair.

With all the beauty and love we shared.

Why took thy life and left me shattered?

Alone in tears and in guilt,

Why you left earlier than me?

Pain left on my bleeding heart.

To bid you goodbye I cannot bear.

As you soar high to meet Him.

Just fallow the queue.

For heaven may claim my soul too.

I, a mother wondered why?

***

Maybe I came too late.

To show how much I care.

I never saw you walked or run.

Neither heard your first talk nor your first cry.

But how lucky have I been. 

Coz you accepted me in your heart.

More than I could wish for.

I gave the love I knew you longed.

Protect you from bruises and brawls.

We’ve been happy, always in laughter.

Many chances came.

And time for us to share.

We made memories of a day,

To be cherished.

To be hailed.

But I wonder why?

My fairest daughter,

You left without goodbye.

As the breeze caught my breath,

I’ll touch thee with a smile.

This will be the last, I know.

And as I uttered my last goodbye,

beyond the distant sky.

I, a father wondered why?

***

You’re my first foe.

You’re my first competitor.

You’re my first enemy.

And you’re my first friend as well.

With you, the first brawl.

With you, the first tears.

With you, the first pain.

And with you, the first hug as well.

*

We’ve through thick and thin.

Your does are my don’ts.

Your likes are my dislikes.

But dear your glory is mine too.

We’ve been through goodness

and much of bitterness.

We laughed through each other’s tears.

We wept through each other’s joys.

We always say sorry after every brawl.

Both accepting the fault,

Then argue…

Again.

Then we laughed after one denied the fact.

But I wonder why?

Sister, my little confidant,

You left us all so soon.

Though we knew,

That it’s only after the death of ones parents,

That one is free to die.

But why you left without permission?

I, a sister wondered why?

gb!