Shoelace (A Conversation)

Shoelace

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by gb!

After an exhausting day of assisting and rehabilitating the old ones in an institution where I work, my team decided to have some beers to close the day. We went to the house of one of my mates. A long, hot and an irritating bus and tricycle journey to his place added to our thirst for a cold beer. After a moment of rest and a very long discussion of what kind of beer we’re going to drink we ended up buying vodka. 

It takes us more time to prepare for our session to start, nobody want to take the first shot! At first we talked about anything and the silence of some of us was undeniable. Some simply talk too much and I guess made some of the silent ones irritated. But as the shot glass accelerates its rounds, discussions heated up. The sun had finally set and bottles of vodka piled. The silent ones finally released some of the voices they had kept. Laughter ruled our session; and in some sensitive moments tears fell. 

One of the topics that strike me most on our talks is when one of the silent ones dropped his metaphorical phrase. “Relationship is a Shoelace.” The bomb overtook me by surprised. At first nobody dared to speak, it’s as if everyone on the table were lost on their thoughts. Then finally he resigned, submitting from the silence he created he went on to his talk. 

“Love or a relationship is a shoelace.” He repeated. “I can’t even say that it’s ‘like’ a shoelace…but ‘it’ is a shoelace. A shoelace has two ends, both are tied and must submit and must tangle each other firmly to secure the shoe. A relationship won’t work without each other’s trust and loyalty for each other. A shoelace can’t be tied using only one end, the other laid untouched. A relationship won’t work without the other’s effort. A shoelace when secured and tied can be loosened by pulling even just the other end. A relationship will never be the same when one decided to let go.”

All ears were on him and as he had done talking, one of us raised her right foot and literally pulled one end of her shoelace to prove his ingenuity. We looked amazed and surprised by the simplicity of this act. Some laughed; others were caught by the absurdity of the act. Then in an instant she questioned him. “I may find it faulty, forgive me being naive…I had pulled the other end and you’re right the grip loosened but I had noticed that the other end still tangled to the base of the other. There it lay attached and loosely coiled but still holding and left trying to hold the shoe.” All eyes were on her shoe by this time. “One thing more…” she continued. “no matter how hard the other one want to let go. Even if I pull it with all of my strength still they are one. They are both have the same body; they are just the end point of a single body. The truth will always remain that they can’t be separated, because they are one.” 

With this she was backed up by one of us. “True and correct!” She said. “In a relationship when one decided to let go, still there are much chances to rebuild the relationship because in some way you had weaved memories and had passed through obstacles that made you’re relationship strong and made yourselves better persons.” She was looking on the twisted shoelace that ran through the shoelace’ holes on her shoe as she said this. “When one decided to let go, as long as the other one kept on holding and because they are one still there are much chances.” She concluded.

Another point I thought. But then I can’t resist asking both of them. “But what is the purpose of the shoelace? And what is the purpose of a relationship when one decided to let go?” the argument heated up. Each of us has something to say. Some agreed against the others. I end up answering my own question. “Its purpose is to hold the shoe. Both ends must be tied together for the shoe not to loosen. Both parties must have the love and will or perhaps must have the choice to make the relationship stronger, tighter. Yes it is true that the lace has both ends, these ends are connected and one can’t go on independently. But how can the shoe go on walking if one end was untied? At the end it’s either the shoe will fall or the feet will go bare.” I continued uninterrupted. “A relationship can’t go on with a tainted foundation. If one decided to let go things will never be the same. Trust is very important, if without, the relationship was either molded with lies or with unreasoned suspicions. Bitterness and guilt will overcome the true essence of the relationship. And too much of either of it is enough to let love grow cold.” 

“Then it’s all a matter of Choice!” exclaimed one. “The other end who decided to be pulled to release the knot has his/her choice or it was his/her choice rather.” He continued with the I-am-very-serious expression on his face. “The other had his/her choice by holding still to the one who let go. There is hope somehow even on the slightest that the tie he’s/she’s trying to hold can make the shoe/relationship go on.” 

I never expected that this simple session with my group ended up with this incredulous topic. Simple and silly as it seems but the thought and the bonding it gave us is incomparable. The shot was passed; the vodka has its spirits within our near flaccid brain. After his talk no one dared to speak. The conversation simply died out. Laughters diverted our attentions to other unremembered topics. But then still the thought keep on teasing my mind. Is it really a matter of choice? Or is it a mere selfishness on one’s part and foolishness on the other or vice versa? Is it just right to hold on to what is left when one decides to let go? Is it still possible for one to carry on the relationship as long as he/she has her/him beside, even with the absence of love, after all they are just one? These thoughts made my mind swirl and it pained me thinking about the endless possible answers. 

Love. Relationship. Trust. They are just words. Has anyone of us ever asked ourselves by that time that even without the lace, even without the shoe, the feet can go on bare? It’ll be tough to walk on to the road towards happiness on barefoot maybe, but how can you tastes the sweetness of every fight without frustrations and pains? Afterall feet are for walking not the shoe. Love was to be felt not just to be said. 

So I lay my case closed.