Once Again, I saw him "I Never Lied" he said.

Once again, i saw him. "I Never Lied"  he said.

by Carlvon Aquino (blogger's bestfriend)

One thing, I learned is that TRUST weighs way heavier than love and respect together.

Waking by the mornings filled with the world’s“WHAT IF’S” and “IF ONLY’S” is worse than not having waken at all. Sometimes the universe do not permit us to live as how we want to, not because it simply says “no”, but because not everything in it is worth trying for, because if we do, this may either hurt us or make us just dejectedly a failure.

Sometimes, it is better to keep out from the opposite’s snares and temptations because, simply, we are better off alone or maybe because we have this simple happy heart that would long to smile just as exactly what it requires.

Most of relationships fail because they are being founded with merely just the thought of trying it.“Would it work out?”...“Would it last long?”  Essentially, everybody should know, that if we happen to meet a partner and find ourselves asking the same questions, we probably have also found ourselves inside the most dangerous peril of failing.

Not only that! We probably have also found ourselves lost and more confused. But wait! There’s more.We probably have found ourselves asking the universe’s most controversial questions---
“WHAT IF?”
“ IF ONLY...”
That is because we never thought of learning to trust ourselves with it, learn to entrust ourselves to our partners and learn to trust our partners for the relationship.
“WHAT IF I WAS JUST THAT SWEETER?” ...“IF ONLY, I REPLIED TO HIS TEXT MESSAGES…”
“WHAT IF I NEVER DROPPED HIS CALLS?” ...“IF ONLY I ANSWERED HIS CALLS AT NIGHT EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T FEEL LIKE ANSWERING IT…”
“WHAT IF I SAID YES! WHEN HE WAS ASKING TO JOIN ME ON A BARKADA TRIP?”...“IF ONLY I WAS NOT THAT RUDE AND STRICT,…”
“WHAT IF I NEVER MET HIM?”..."IF ONLY… I NEVER HAD SEX WITH HIM OR HER…”

See??? See how it works? We bargain ourselves in exchange for those unlived moments which we should have done. Even to the singlest and smallest detail for us to exchange ourselves into, we desperately succumb to deal for the bargain JUST NOT TO FEEL THE IMPACT OF THE SEPARATION. Just not to feel the pain. Well, I should say, THAT is not as easy as wanting to listen to “MARIPOSA TRAICIONERA” sounding from his blackberry.
“WHAT IF I JUST TRUSTED HIM ON WHAT HE SAID?”
“WHAT IF HE WAS REALLY FAITHFUL?”
“WHAT IF WAS’NT REALLY LYING ALL THIS TIME?”
“WHAT IF I WAS WRONG WHEN I TOLD HIM HE ALWAYS IS A LIAR?”
“IF ONLY I JUST LISTENDED…”
“IF ONLY I WAS JUST THAT FIRM…”

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This is an article or a note from one who’s heart is dying.I rarely talk to him.But one time, I saw him singing one of his favorites on a videoke bar. I barely recall it but I think Its called “HERE WITHOUT YOU?” I stopped what I was doing and just stared at him.

His voice was a crack. His singing sucked, but there was something in him that made me stare longer. There was something in his voice that made me understand why he was singing his song again.With the song’s piercing lyrics, resonated his voice that was full of longing and desperation.

I asked him how he does that. But he answered me with his sharp brown eyes that produced the moist I can never forget---the moist that echoed the beats of agonizing heart.

I asked him, “Do you miss somebody?”

He looked down and felt silent for a second as he reached his hand to his pocket and pulled out a folded paper with encryptures in it. He cried even harder.

I could feel the pain flowing with the tears his two stressed eyes brought out.The wet tears glistened as if they were feasting and shouting sound of joy after having sharp-stabbed the man’s heart and left it still caged inside his thorax bleeding and with no air.

He handed me the thing, now, moistened with his bitter tears and troubled with the shaking of his hand.

“What is this?” I asked in a soft comforting but probing husk.

He just stared at me straight like shooting me with his two irises that totally pierced me in my own two eyes like a dart board.

Suddenly, he whispered shakingly, “ I never lied to that somebody!”

Perplexed, confounded and stymied I managed my composure as he leaped and ran towards the darkness until I can not barely see his silhouette.And there I was. Puzzled and silenced with a note in my hands like having given the most classified secrets of the world.

It took me not an hour when I already found myself bursting in tears gazing and reading what the man gave me. It took me days to digest what it said.

Now, what appeared to me was a very clear explication of what he wrote. It took me more than strength and confidence to grasp it and tell to myself what it liked me to process.
“UNDERSTAND YOURSELF BOY!”
 Alas, I breathed an air of relief. A pipe of hope.That man was an icon.
Intelligently, he changed himself through learning the most essential savor of relationships. Sadly, he only learned this after having failed to the spiking truth that regrets are done and enjoyed last.

I rushed to search the man because I wanted to listen to his stories. But he was nowhere to be found.In exhaustion from my rushing, I rested a seat on a boat’s pedestal facing the tired sun setting on rather tranquil sea. Now, I believe, that I met the man, who, in how many years of black and white lies, have learned the concept of entrusting himself.Only that, maybe, in the wrong person who’s intention was never to treasure his once-in-a-lifetime-self-discovery. He learned that.Yes! He really did. Maybe, he was from a very sad and unfortunate experience where he probed not to trust anybody.

I believe he did not lie to his somebody!I should know that! It was clearly encrypted and sculpted in his solemn but tired sad tears.
“HE NEVER LIED!”

I blurted to myself “AND IT WAS, FOR HIM, A VERY GREAT ACHIEVEMENT!”

It was like him, saying, it took him a day to fall for someone but it might take him forever to diffuse and forget.I wonder when and where would I be given a split second to see him once more and listen to his stories.I know, he will never stop loving… and he will never stop learning. I just wonder really, when and where again, when I have already found myself. #s21