Elegy for a Broken Heart

Elegy for a Broken Heart

(letter for the cupid)

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We’ve started as friends, and I guess we’re going to end it that way. We’ve been together for long; times I treasured, kept and hid within my heart. Memories neatly laid that only the sweetest of his kiss can make it vanish. For how many times he laughed on my jokes, truthful jokes of love that only every wounded heart can fathom. He’s keeping me company but it feels like he’s never by my side. I never demanded for his exclusivity but he’s always there whenever I need him yet too distant to be held. He can never be mine that is why I let go.

Let me count how I ironically love you…

            “Yes, I love you and never will I use to, coz I believe in forever. You are my hope and my despair, my unending source of happiness and you are the reason of my sadness. My strength and my weakness; you are my victory and my lost cause. You’re my best decision and probably my worst. You’re my life and my death, my love and my resentment. My truth and my biggest lie, you’re the only thing I am sure of but also my greatest risk. You’re the reason for my faith as well as my disbelief, my drought and my oasis. This is how much you mess up life but I guess this is how you make it complete.”

He may think that I am contented for everything we’ve been and for what we are. Yes I am, but he can’t blame me for hoping for more. He can deny me the love he can never give but he can’t shatter the dream I’ve made. The dream that only his reality can wake it up. I wanted to be his someone so special…I wanted to be his companion, his partner and his very bestfriend. I wanted more than what we are now, more than what people think we are, more than he think we can only be…I love him and I wanted him so much. But how, when I think about the possibility, when I weigh hopes and the dreams, it all leads to uncertainty and impossibility? I guess all I had to do is to taste every bittersweet memory we’ve shared…

…as friends.

Note:      The text in Italic was a text message (phone) sent to me by Mr. Joseph Valentino.

                …a friend.